


Revelation

by ChibiAhiru



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Asexual Character, Confrontations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gay Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Past Balthazar/Castiel (Supernatural), Revelations, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25616854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiAhiru/pseuds/ChibiAhiru
Summary: Who is asexual?Dean had no idea a chance meeting with a college fling would change his relationship with Cas forever.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76





	Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> Not Beta read.  
> All mistakes are mine.

Dean was minding his own business at another of Castiel's work events. His boyfriends publishing company was launching a new book so the firm was hosting the usual party for writers and editors to celebrate. He could see his boyfriend politely talking to some of his co-worker at the other side of the room, glancing in Dean's directions once in awhile with a shy smile.

Dean can't say he enjoys these events but he is here to support Cas. Taking another sip of his drink he noticed a man watching him from across the room. He was dressed in the deepest V-neck Dean had ever seen on a man, an open suit jacket and tight fitting slacks. As they made eye contact the blond seems to think that was his cue to approach.

“Pleasure to meet you. My name is Balthazar” the man introduced himself with a posh British accent offering his hand to Dean when he stepped within reach.

Not wanting to be in-polite Dean introduced himself as he shook the man's hand firmly. “I'm Dean”

“Are you a writer?” Balthazar asked. A flirty smile grazing his lips. If Dean had been available he might have indulged the man with some flirting but since he is in a committed relationship he answered simply. “No, I am here with my boyfriend, he is an editor”

Balthazar nodded in understanding and the flirty smile disappears. “Anyone I would know?”

“Do you know Castiel Novak?” Dean questioned. The look that crossed Balthazar's face was unsettling. He seemed surprised to hear Castiel's name but also thoughtful and he gave Dean a once over with his eyes that made Dean want to squirm.

“How long have you been together?” The question was blunt and seemed quite personal but Dean answered anyway. “Almost 2 years now”

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at that, seemingly questioning the accuracy of Dean's claim. “Two years, wow. Does that mean you are also asexual?” Balthazar asked out of the blue.

Dean remained quiet, he had no idea what the man was talking about. Asexual? Also? Instead of waiting for Dean to respond the blond continued to talk. “I studied here a semester in college you know. Me and Castiel dated for a while but we stopped when he told me he was asexual.”

Dean could not quite process the information he just received and only responded with a nod and a hum. Balthazar seemed to realize the conversation wasn't going to go anywhere so he excused himself and went to talk to someone else. Dean chanced a quick look towards Cas but saw that he was talking to another group of people with his back to Dean so he probably hadn't seen him talking to Balthazar.

Dean needed a moment to think so he left his glass on one of the side tables and went out into the lobby of the hotel. Settling down in a corner, he fished out his smartphone from his pocket and started to search for the word 'Asexual'.

The first thing that came up was ' _A person who identifies as asexual is someone who lack sexual attraction or someone who is not attracted to anyone.'_ The explanation raised more questions than answers. Dean is not sure how many links he pressed, how many forums he entered, trying to understand what the text in front of him was trying to say, but most of it just blurred together.

His frantic searching was interrupted by a chat bubble popping up on his screen.

**11:38 pm Cas** : Where are you?

Cas was probably ready to go, so Dean had to abandon his searches and responded.

**11:39 pm Me** : In the lobby

Two minutes later his boyfriend appears with their coats in his arms. Upon seeing Dean he smiles, that goofy gummy smile of his. The smile feels reassuring and familiar but it also feels like he is seeing Cas for the first time. What else could that smile be hiding?

“Ready to go?” Cas asks as he shrugs his coat on, bringing Dean out of his thoughts.

Dean puts his own winter coat on and says, with what he hopes is a genuine looking smile “Yeah, let's go find some real food”

It is a tradition of theirs to go find 'real' food after these types of parties. Food is always served but it is the fancy hors d'oeuvre types that won't fill a grown mans stomach.

Dean loves these moments with Cas, so he did his best to enjoy their night out. Not letting what he had learned earlier destroy their time together.

\---*---

During the following days Dean continued to do research on asexuality, in secret of course. He finds that it is a broad spectrum with many different variables and in many cases no general rule apply, instead the individual sets the preferences.

What he has come to understand though is that there are extremes, where some people who are asexual are totally repulsed by sex or any intimacy, while others are indifferent, some may even like the feeling of sex but does not need it.

From his relationship with Cas he thinks he can rule out that Cas is repulsed by intimacy. Because Cas will often be the one who seeks Dean out for hugs, light kisses or cuddles. What Dean has noticed about their relationship, is that _he_ is always the one who instigates sex. If Dean doesn't deepen the kisses, trail his hands under Cas' shirt or squeezes his ass they never go any further than comfortable snuggling.

Realizing that it was only Dean who _wanted_ to have sex and that Cas has only been humoring him all this time, leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

In order to confirm his theory of Cas not actually wanting sex, Dean simply stopped instigating sex. Since then they haven't had sex once. Much to Dean's surprise he found that he doesn't miss it as much as he thought he would and Cas seems to be more affectionate because of it.

Now Dean was at a crossroads. He had the evidence that would prove Cas is asexual but was he brave enough to bring it up?

He could just pretend he never had the talk with Balthazar, never learned that there is such a thing as asexuality and just continue as they have been. In the long-run Dean knows that is not going to work. Even though he is not a man who likes to talk about his feelings he realizes that the only way to sort this out properly is to have a serious talk with Castiel.

It's not until a couple of weeks later, that Dean has gathered enough courage to discuss it with Cas. So far Cas doesn't seem to have realized that their relationship has changed in quite a significant way.

Tonight, Dean is going to burst that bubble.

Dean arrived home early from work and had prepared a home cooked meal. He had set the table and opened a bottle of wine, trying to keep the mood from being too romantic but still nice. He didn't want Cas to get the wrong idea, thinking he might propose or something instead of dropping this bombshell on him.

When Cas arrived at their apartment and steps into the kitchen Dean greets him with a kiss. “Welcome home”

“This is a nice surprise” Cas mumbles into the kiss as he observes the set table and sniffs their air.

“Food is ready in a few minutes” Dean says and Cas goes to change into something more comfortable.

They eat while telling the other about their day. Nothing remarkable had happened during the day which Dean thought was for the best. He might have chickened out if he had learned Cas had had a bad day at work.

As they finished their food Dean started to feel really nervous. It was now or never, he had to find out if his suspicions were true, if what Balthazar had told him was true.

“Cas” Dean called out, gaining his boyfriends attention. Cas raised his beautiful blue eyes from where they had been watching the wine swirl lazily in his glass to meet Dean's across the table.

“I have something to ask you... and I hope you will answer me truthfully” Castiel tilted his head in that incredibly endearing way, silently waiting for Dean to continue. Dean felt his stomach do an uncomfortable lurch as he started to stutter. “A—are you asexual?”

A pregnant silence settled heavily between them. Eventually Cas cleared his throat.“I am not sure what you are talking about” he said and took a small sip of his wine.

Cas was a terrible lier. Dean had expected Castile to try to deny any knowledge of asexuality and he wasn't looking forwards to confronting him about lying.

“Have you realized we haven't had sex for several weeks?” Cas frowned at the information and took a moment to think about what Dean had said. Dean could see the moment when it dawned on Castiel that what he was saying was true. But instead of admitting to it he got defensive.

“What does that have to do with anything? We have just been busy” Cas shot back with a shrug.

“No Cas. We haven't had sex because you are asexual - who, if my understanding is correct, is indifferent to sex. So when I stopped initiating sex we stopped having it” Dean explained as a matter of fact.

Dean could see Cas contemplating his options but he could also see that he was growing increasingly distressed. His normally pale cheeks were tainted pink with frustration and his hands had found their way up to bury themselves in his thick unruly hair. It hurt Dean to see Cas this way and he wanted to reach out to provide some comfort.

With tightly shut eyes, Castiel bit out. “How did you find out?”

“I met an interesting man at your last work event a couple of weeks ago. Does the name Balthazar ring any belles?”

Castiel whipped his head up so quickly at hearing the name, Dean though he might have hurt his neck.

“Balthazar!? What did he say to you?” Cas asked with an urgency Dean has never heard before.

“When I told him you were my boyfriend he asked me if I was asexual as well because you had told him in collage that you were asexual”

Dean continued without letting Cas respond. “Of course I had no idea what he was talking about but after that I have been doing research and I have come to the conclusion that you are asexual”

If Dean had to describe what Castiel looked like with one word he would say 'distraught'. His boyfriend continued to avoid eye contact with Dean instead cradling his head in his hands again.

The silence dragged on between them, Dean waiting for Cas to say something. He was unprepared for the shaky breath followed by a sniffle that broke the silence. The first one was quickly followed by another and Dean realized that Cas was crying. Getting up from his set Dean swiftly move to Cas' side of the table kneeling down in front of him. Seeing his boyfriend in tears was so unexpected that it brought tears to his own eyes.

“Cas, please don't cry” Dean begged.

“A—are you breaking u-up with me?” Cas whispered between breaths voice thick with emotion. The question caused Dean to flinch back.

“No- no, baby that is not what I want. Please Cas, just look at me.” Dean tried to find Cas' beautiful blue eyes somewhere under his unruly hair. Eventually Cas raised his head slightly and opened his tear-filled eyes to hesitantly meet Dean's.

“You're not breaking up w-with me?” Dean shook his head vigorously. “No, I just want to understand” Dean explained honestly.

The two of them took a moment to collect themselves. Dean suggested that they move to the couch in the living-room to be more comfortable.

They settled down awkwardly peeking glances at each other from opposite ends of the couch, wondering who would talk first. Dean was relieved when Cas started to speak, quietly but steadily.

“You're right. I'm asexual. I've known since collage.”

Castiel took a deep breath before continuing not giving Dean the opportunity to comment. “In the beginning I hoped I would be able to find someone who would understand and accept me as I am. But as the years passed, several relationships came to an end because of my asexuality. And I concluded that if I wanted to keep a partner I would have to stop bringing it up”

Castiel trailed off by the end, wrapping his arms around himself. Dean silently contemplated what he had learned. He knows that this is not something Castiel would have decided lightly. He is a very honest man and can't lie to save his life. Ignoring the topic seems to have been the only way he could avoid lying while also obtaining what he wanted. By the looks of it Castiel expected Dean to be angry with him but Dean couldn't find it in him. Dean loved this man, he saw a future with him.

The past weeks have made him realize that there is so much more to their relationship than sex and now that he knows it is not something that Castiel desires, he finds that he doesn't mind.

“Cas, I love _you_ and that will not change”

Cas frowned “But what about sex? Won't you miss it?”

“If sex isn't something you get any enjoyment from then I don't want it.” Cas digested those words for a moment glancing at Dean to see if he was being truthful. It will probably take some time before Castiel fully believes what Dean is saying but Dean is prepared to remind him everyday if he has to.

Dean beckoned Cas to move closer and after a moment of hesitation, Cas snuggled right up to him. Dean hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead.

“I never expected you would find out” Cas mumbled into his neck.

“That is the tricky thing about secrets, they usually finds a way to surface” Dean whispered not wanting to disturbed the quiet moment between them.

After several minutes, the two of them were dozing off when Cas whispered under his breath, so silently Dean almost missed it. “I'm glad you know.”

'I agree' Dean thought just before sleep took him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Kudos and Comments are appreciated :)


End file.
